Abusive Relationships

(Domestic Violence, Discrimination, or Power Imbalance)

The Path of a Peacemaker and our legacy material is NOT MEANT TO PRIVATELY ADDRESS abusive relationships, power imbalances such as but not limited to domestic violence, discrimination, spiritual abuse, governance abuse, or employment abuse. 

The foundation for all our materials is that people involved communicate, interact, and negotiate in good faith with a heart of humility, introspection, and an authentic desire to change. 

The abused should not put themselves into an unsafe private meeting to address the abusive behavior or the abuser.

If you are in an unsafe situation. Call 911.

Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself. Proverbs 22:24–25 (NASB95)

Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious— don’t get infected. Proverbs 22:24–25 (The Message)

If you are safe and need to talk to someone. Give Peacemaker Ministries a call at (800) 711-7118.

As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:10–11 (ESV)

Warn a quarrelsome person once or twice, but then be done with him. It’s obvious that such a person is out of line, rebellious against God. By persisting in divisiveness he cuts himself off.  Titus 3:10–11 (The Message)

Please do not engage the abuser in a private conversation. Safety and justice are important to God. 

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8 (ESV)

All forms of abuse are a sin. Here is a short list:

• Spiritual abuse
• Physical abuse
• Threatening
• Calling Names
• Belittling
• Intimidation
• Manipulation
• Stalking

If you are trying to help someone in conflict, but do not have training in abusive relationships. Please do not hesitate to call Peacemaker Ministries at (800) 711-7118. You are going to need outside help. 

ABUSE

Domestic violence, physical abuse, verbal abuse, and spiritual abuse are real issues inside and outside of the church. Peacemaker Ministries desires to create safe environments for everyone involved. If you’re currently being abused or you are in an unsafe situation, please call 911 and get to a safe place.

Please notify your conflict coach and/or mediator during the call if you are in an abusive situation.

The following behaviors are unacceptable.

Physical violence is unacceptable.

The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. Psalm 11:5, NIV

Outbursts of anger are unacceptable.

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. Proverbs 22:24–25, NIV

Name-calling is unacceptable.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29, NIV

Threatening is unacceptable.

A troublemaker and a villain, who goes about with a corrupt mouth, who winks maliciously with his eye, signals with his feet and motions with his fingers, who plots evil with deceit in his heart— he always stirs up conflict. Therefore disaster will overtake him in an instant; he will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy. Proverbs 6:12–15, NIV

Belittling is unacceptable.

Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. For they cannot rest until they do evil; they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble. They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. Proverbs 4:14–19, NIV

Intimidation is unacceptable.

The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous. He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed. The wise inherit honor, but fools get only shame. Proverbs 3:33–35, NIV

Peacemaker Ministries holds the right to end a group reconciliation (mediation) at any point for any reason. Abusive behavior before, during, or after a group reconciliation is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Peacemaker Ministries advises that abused individuals call 911 if they are in a threatening situation. Peacemaker Ministries advises the abuser to turn themselves in to the police for abusing or hurting others. Remember, true repentance accepts the consequences for sinful behavior, makes no demands, and does not blame the other person for their sin.